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Posted (edited)
24 minutes ago, marron said:

Oh man, the effing tube.

I once had to go to a party in east london but there was a broken down train somewhere on the line. While I was waiting I bought a spliff off some dodgy character in the station; I can't remember exactly where the party was now, but when I eventually got there I was late 'n stoned.

In the 90's every tube station had dodgy characters like that knocking about. Especially Kings Cross!!! :shok:

Remember before mobile phones going in a red phone box near Kings Cross and every service you could imagine having a card stuck up :D And a few you wouldn't want to imagine :shok: Always good fun on a school trip to get a few of those cards and slip them in Sir's jacket pocket..

London is still great, but not as much character as there was back then.

Edited by Smoggy
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^^^^^^^^^^^^

Just on the above card in a phone box.

Way back in 1971 my first job was at Walton's and I was in the carpet section..

AnyWho our manager was also a kinda the regional manager for NSW, and he used to go on country tours selling carpet especially to businesses....

So he is away in the country somewhere and in a highly religious part, where anything you do wrong is around town faster than the speed of sound.

Head Office had lined up quite a few local business i.e. clubs, councils etc for the presentation.

Manager is out at lunch and has to phone in and he needs to use the public phone i.e. in the red box.

In the phone box he sees a bunch of those suggestive cards ... i.e. are you lonely tonight and from outer town etc... for why no one knows he picked up a couple of cards.

Back in the motel and the best motel in town he just gets...hHHmmmmm!!!!!.

So he picks up one of the cards and dials the number...

The phone answers and in the most lovely deep sensual voice a women replies and asks how can we help you.

The manager, said something along these lines...look I won't beat around the bus, I want sex, I want a lot, I want it hard, and I want it hot, and maybe more than one girl...

The women calmly replied [for those that can remember these times], Mr JJJJJJJ for an outside line please dial 9 first... 

 

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41 minutes ago, Smoggy said:

In the 90's every tube station had dodgy characters like that knocking about. Especially Kings Cross!!! :shok:

Remember before mobile phones going in a red phone box near Kings Cross and every service you could imagine having a card stuck up :D And a few you wouldn't want to imagine :shok: Always good fun on a school trip to get a few of those cards and slip them in Sir's jacket pocket..

London is still great, but not as much character as there was back then.

Yep I didn't have to make much up for the joke. :lol:

mini cab touts were a good bet.

I can remember those cards being one of the first things I noticed within like an hour of arriving.... wtf? :lol:

I stayed in kings cross for a weekend or something still remember how dodgy it all was.

Actually someone I was with once hated the cards and was taking them down while making a phone call and then some classic Russian gangster type comes across the street and it almost kicked off big time. 

 

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At first I thought... "Oh good! Davo's making a contribution to the Joke Thread! "

 

And then I read his joke!  :cheeky:

 

 

:D

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Rolo and Polo decide to go to out to a club, they queue for a while and when they get to the front they let Rolo in, but the doorman tells Polo he isn’t welcome.

Rolo asks why?

They doorman replies “Because he’s Menthol!”.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
A womans husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears;
You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side
You know what?
What dear? she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
I think youre bad luck.
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On 11/06/2021 at 2:36 PM, JackDoff said:
A womans husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears;
You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side
You know what?
What dear? she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
I think youre bad luck.

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

You start out with two hearts and a diamond.

And end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

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