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mack

What Really Grinds My Gears 5

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5 hours ago, Carns said:

Cut the cord, mate. As you get older you start to shed friends who go their own ways and start their own lives. If you're already having second thoughts about your relationship with these people, it'll most likely deteriorate further over time. Life is too short for **** friends.

One thing I have realised is that some people are only in your life for a set period of time, and others are there for life. Learning that people come and go is very cathartic. They sound like they're not worth the effort, tbh.

Unfortunately for me, him and other friend (and maybe one guy from work) are basically the "friends" I've got. However, I do agree with you. Recently, I've gotten used to just doing things alone (especially at work) without others and sometimes it's a nice enjoyable feeling...but there is times where it's a sh*t feeling...but that's life.

It's ridiculous when you find out the true friends from others and I've witness that a whole ago. I had one co-worker at my previous job where we would spend a lot of time together when we both had days off and go to concerts/gigs (Big Day Out, Soundwave etc.) to see each others favourite bands.

When I left, I remember her saying she'll keep in touch with me which I thought was a nice gesture. However, when I messaged her for her birthday about 3 months later after I left the same job we both worked out and her reply was "Thanks, but who's this?" and I said my name and she said "oh...thanks" just that reply immediately gave the vibes like "wow, you surely have moved on" so I don't even message her anymore...Infact, she's never message me once after I left to see how I am.
 

2 hours ago, Prydzopolis said:

Ahhh dude, bad luck! I guess it’s the last time you take my advice :lol:

Seriously though, you did know it was a possibility when you got the invite with only your name on it & RSVP’d in the knowledge that it might just be you. I guess the question is how far you want to take it?

Do you take the non-invite as the deal breaker? Or do you go to the wedding (hopefully a few people that you know) have a few drinks & a good feed? As Jack said, have your misses come & stay with you the night?

I know you’re proper pissed off at the moment & as a friendship you’re pretty much done but I wouldn’t burn the bridge by turning down the invite. You never know what might happen further down the road, maybe you just drift apart or maybe things might go the other way?

LOL...No, don't be like that.

When I first thought that my name was only mentioned I thought "maybe his GF wrote the invite and she didn't remember my partner's name" so when I did the RSVP online and it gave me0 the option to bring a partner along, I thought "sweet, all good then". But, guess I was wrong.

I see the non-invite towards my partner as a "guess I'll be seeing less of you" kind of deal. Especially when me and my partner are moving into our own house very soon and I wouldn't even let him know about it (and honestly even if I did...I doubt he would even come over to visit in the first place anyway). I think I'll just go to the wedding, maybe be at the reception till dinner is served and then leave. 

I did think of what @JackDoff said by having me and my partner staying overnight at the hotel but with the way I feel with the non-invite towards my partner, it gives me this unwelcoming vibe (especially when they have booked out the whole hotel for 'friends and family to say'. 

So the current plan is I think I'll just have her drop me off and pick me up later. (I already said I'll full up her car both ways as a thanks but I'll probably spoil her with gifts later on). 

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5 minutes ago, Wanderboy said:

I agree with this and would go one step further.

How long has he been a mate? If it's been a long time, it's hardly worth losing him as a friend over a non-invite for one night. 

You don't know (or maybe you do) that they might be under a strict budget for the wedding and have to be frugal with who they invite.

I'd stay calm, try and look at it from his (and his brides) perspective, and just chill a bit.

It's understandable that you are upset that they have made no effort in meeting your partner (one side of the story) but just let it go for the moment, and see what happens next. Maybe even suggest a get together (at your joint) with you partner once they are married and settled after the wedding.

 

If that doesn't work, ******* dump the low lives.  :)

I was trying to work out an accurate time and I say it's coming up to 10 years. I met the guy that's getting married from the other friend around my early 20's (and I'm now in my 30's).

Without a doubt they are on a strict budget and I feel they went way over their budget. For them to say they have booked a whole hotel just for the night and some of the rooms cost around $500+ is quite absurd.

I think I'm just angry that I've tried multiple times to try and organise for them to meet my partner and they have either been unavailable to meet her, had other plans or pull out at the last minute and then they go on to say "when we going to meet her?" when I hang out with them gets on my nerves. I felt that this wedding was a great opportunity for them to finally see my partner.

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10 minutes ago, MathyouWSW said:

I was trying to work out an accurate time and I say it's coming up to 10 years. I met the guy that's getting married from the other friend around my early 20's (and I'm now in my 30's).

Without a doubt they are on a strict budget and I feel they went way over their budget. For them to say they have booked a whole hotel just for the night and some of the rooms cost around $500+ is quite absurd.

I think I'm just angry that I've tried multiple times to try and organise for them to meet my partner and they have either been unavailable to meet her, had other plans or pull out at the last minute and then they go on to say "when we going to meet her?" when I hang out with them gets on my nerves. I felt that this wedding was a great opportunity for them to finally see my partner.

Like I said, let it go this time. Don't burn yourself over it. Try again after they have settled.

Even suggest that it didn't work out at the wedding, but you'd really like them to meet your partner soon, because of this.

Stay being the good guy, and see how it pans out.

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24 minutes ago, Prydzopolis said:

Sounds like you need to come to a pre match meeting at the Royal Oak (is it still standing?) & make new friends with our WSF family :) 

I'm keen. :) Royal Oak is nice and it's been a long time since I've been there, my ex-GF used to live in Parramatta (Albert Street to be exact) and we would sometimes go to Royal Oak for drinks and then back to her apartment (this is way before the Wanderers existed :mellow:)

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16 hours ago, Carns said:

Cut the cord, mate. As you get older you start to shed friends who go their own ways and start their own lives. If you're already having second thoughts about your relationship with these people, it'll most likely deteriorate further over time. Life is too short for **** friends.

One thing I have realised is that some people are only in your life for a set period of time, and others are there for life. Learning that people come and go is very cathartic. They sound like they're not worth the effort, tbh.

Yep im with Carns on this.  When freindship stuff becomes such hard work i generally ask what my emotional investment truly is and might them make a decision to end the friendship. And again agree with Carns that as you get older your tolerance for bullshite gets less snd less

Life is too short for unfulfilling friendships

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Not sure these fully qualify for wrgmg but off topic doesn't seem appropriate either.

Aaaah, the "benefits" of new technology. I expect we all realise that we are being inexorably pushed and even forced to use and accept the introduction of technological versions of so many things, like it or not. All for the customers benefit of course. Some aspects of the changes leave a lot to be desired.

Firstly an older issue we were caught out on & were reminded of by a friend's recent experience. Once upon a time there were Medicare offices where you could go to to submit claims. You could wait in line or just drop it off, you could see how long the line was to help with deciding whether to wait. Then they were merged with Centrelink where you could get a readily available form, filll it out and leave it for processing, you knew you could quickly go in and get the form etc. Nowadays, you line up, wait your turn, ask for a form, your request is entered, you wait until that "job" pops up on someones screen, the form is printed, your name is called, you fill out the form, then line up so you can hand it in, and then wait x weeks which is longer than it used to be. There is an option to wait to be served instead of wait for the printed form, time period unknown either way. Printing the form at home is not an option. I think there is an online option as well? Which I've used? Those less likely to cope with the online technology are also those less likely to cope with the added physical difficulties of current office processes.

This next one is happening to a lady my wife knows. She lost her seniors/pensioner Opal card. Bearing in mind what I said earlier about being forced to use new technology including Opal cards, what happens next is mind boggling. The only way to report this and request a replacement is by phone. You can't deal with it online, or go to any office of any sort. So, she calls the number - yes, I can see you have a card linked to your pension number - good, please arrange a replacement - I can't do that because your husband was the one who applied for the card, as one of two, we need to talk to him - that will be difficult, he's dead - we still can't arrange a replacement for you - can I go online, send an email, write a letter ... ? - no! She gives up and calls again the next day hoping for a better result from a different customer service officer. No such luck, but she perseveres a little more. So, to get a replacement of one of these wonderful technological advancements, she needs to submit a paper form with attachments, she can't get the form online, it has to be posted, she then needs to complete it and submit it with proof of her husband's death to get a replacement card in her own name, which she will be able to use to spend her own money (albeit with seniors concessions). You must use the new technology!! However if you lose it we will use prehistoric processes to give you a replacement! Madness! She would have been better off getting some bloke to get on the phone and pretend to be her deceased husband!

 

Aplologies to MathyouWSW for the length of this post.

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On 12/02/2020 at 10:03 PM, MathyouWSW said:

I'm keen. :) Royal Oak is nice and it's been a long time since I've been there, my ex-GF used to live in Parramatta (Albert Street to be exact) and we would sometimes go to Royal Oak for drinks and then back to her apartment (this is way before the Wanderers existed :mellow:)

Closed.

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50 minutes ago, Ossified said:

Closed.

Still open, 6 week extension/reprieve.

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1 hour ago, Edinburgh said:

Not sure these fully qualify for wrgmg but off topic doesn't seem appropriate either.

Aaaah, the "benefits" of new technology. I expect we all realise that we are being inexorably pushed and even forced to use and accept the introduction of technological versions of so many things, like it or not. All for the customers benefit of course. Some aspects of the changes leave a lot to be desired.

Firstly an older issue we were caught out on & were reminded of by a friend's recent experience. Once upon a time there were Medicare offices where you could go to to submit claims. You could wait in line or just drop it off, you could see how long the line was to help with deciding whether to wait. Then they were merged with Centrelink where you could get a readily available form, filll it out and leave it for processing, you knew you could quickly go in and get the form etc. Nowadays, you line up, wait your turn, ask for a form, your request is entered, you wait until that "job" pops up on someones screen, the form is printed, your name is called, you fill out the form, then line up so you can hand it in, and then wait x weeks which is longer than it used to be. There is an option to wait to be served instead of wait for the printed form, time period unknown either way. Printing the form at home is not an option. I think there is an online option as well? Which I've used? Those less likely to cope with the online technology are also those less likely to cope with the added physical difficulties of current office processes.

This next one is happening to a lady my wife knows. She lost her seniors/pensioner Opal card. Bearing in mind what I said earlier about being forced to use new technology including Opal cards, what happens next is mind boggling. The only way to report this and request a replacement is by phone. You can't deal with it online, or go to any office of any sort. So, she calls the number - yes, I can see you have a card linked to your pension number - good, please arrange a replacement - I can't do that because your husband was the one who applied for the card, as one of two, we need to talk to him - that will be difficult, he's dead - we still can't arrange a replacement for you - can I go online, send an email, write a letter ... ? - no! She gives up and calls again the next day hoping for a better result from a different customer service officer. No such luck, but she perseveres a little more. So, to get a replacement of one of these wonderful technological advancements, she needs to submit a paper form with attachments, she can't get the form online, it has to be posted, she then needs to complete it and submit it with proof of her husband's death to get a replacement card in her own name, which she will be able to use to spend her own money (albeit with seniors concessions). You must use the new technology!! However if you lose it we will use prehistoric processes to give you a replacement! Madness! She would have been better off getting some bloke to get on the phone and pretend to be her deceased husband!

 

Aplologies to MathyouWSW for the length of this post.

A lot of new technology is bypassing a lot of the older generations (not a put down just an observation). My dad is 90 and he is confused by it at times. Unfortunately it's all designed for smart phones and tablets and doing things instantly. Companies and govts don't want to pay or provide proper customer service.....ie a human.

Edited by sonar

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20 minutes ago, sonar said:

A lot of new technology is bypassing a lot of the older generations (not a put down just an observation). My dad is 90 and he is confused by it at times. Unfortunately it's all designed for smart phones and tablets and doing things instantly. Companies and govts don't want to pay or provide proper customer service.....ie a human.

I realise that, but here use an Opal card or else and if you lose it call Fred Flintstone!?

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6 minutes ago, Edinburgh said:

I realise that, but here use an Opal card or else and if you lose it call Fred Flintstone!?

.I do sympathize ...it's a bit  like we have all these  hoops ......start jumping.

Edited by sonar

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Just now, sonar said:

....it's a bit  like we have all these  hoops ......start jumping.

Yeah, and you can put your crutches here ....

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55 minutes ago, Edinburgh said:

Still open, 6 week extension/reprieve.

Thanks for that, thought they were to close on the 26th Jan.

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5 hours ago, Ossified said:

Thanks for that, thought they were to close on the 26th Jan.

Andy and others will be there tomorrow

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Couple of things am perplexed about the first is this ever spreading "Welcome to Country" thing which seems to be performed at everything from Grand Finals to the opening of an envelope , to some government websites. Do I need to be welcomed in the country I was born in.

 I understand there needs to be respect for indigenous people in fact for everyone but this is getting over the top and surely the overuse will render it totally meaningless or just plain resentment - get on with the bloody game ! Oh and feel sorry for the poor bastard who forgot the words at the NRL grand final.

The other is the haka performed by NZ's and some Pacific Islanders. Apart from the psychological advantage it gives and holds up the game , the opposition team is required to stand there like numbnuts with a blank look on their face whilst apparently being ritually threaten with having their throat cut , torn to pieces or being emasculated. Ban the farking thing and have a level playing field for all teams.

Either that or let the Aussies stage a corroboree , the Argies a tango , the Italians a tarantella  , the Scots a highland fling for example to even things up.

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57 minutes ago, theseeker said:

The other is the haka performed by NZ's and some Pacific Islanders. Apart from the psychological advantage it gives and holds up the game , the opposition team is required to stand there like numbnuts with a blank look on their face whilst apparently being ritually threaten with having their throat cut , torn to pieces or being emasculated. Ban the farking thing and have a level playing field for all teams.

Either that or let the Aussies stage a corroboree , the Argies a tango , the Italians a tarantella  , the Scots a highland fling for example to even things up.

:rofl:

Yeah!

 

 

 

 

Nah...

The only thing that would be worth watching for me, in the 100% unlikely  event that I would ever be at a game where it is performed, would be watching a haka.

Yes...it's symbolically violent, but it is weirdly exciting.

It would be good to see an indigenous version of it performed in response at all games.

 

Why not?

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1 hour ago, theseeker said:

Couple of things am perplexed about the first is this ever spreading "Welcome to Country" thing which seems to be performed at everything from Grand Finals to the opening of an envelope , to some government websites. Do I need to be welcomed in the country I was born in.

 I understand there needs to be respect for indigenous people in fact for everyone but this is getting over the top and surely the overuse will render it totally meaningless or just plain resentment - get on with the bloody game ! Oh and feel sorry for the poor bastard who forgot the words at the NRL grand final.

The other is the haka performed by NZ's and some Pacific Islanders. Apart from the psychological advantage it gives and holds up the game , the opposition team is required to stand there like numbnuts with a blank look on their face whilst apparently being ritually threaten with having their throat cut , torn to pieces or being emasculated. Ban the farking thing and have a level playing field for all teams.

Either that or let the Aussies stage a corroboree , the Argies a tango , the Italians a tarantella  , the Scots a highland fling for example to even things up.

https://www.google.com/search?q=braveheart+kilt+scene&oq=braveheart+kilt&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l3.9468j0j8&client=tablet-android-samsung&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#imgdii=PqpmgoB4lp1PzM:&imgrc=Mh5zqWA6IoICDM:

 

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I think it's important to acknowledge this stuff and don't have a problem with it but I agree that overuse is probably counter-productive. Having talked to indigenous folk about it as well, I think that people carrying it out tend to get wrapped up in "getting it right" and it becomes very formulaic and tokenistic. It doesn't have to be at all, it's really not the point of it.

As for the Haka, I always felt the same about the requirement to stand there like dummies and the kind of rules about not doing anything else. I remember once the wallabies did a little warmup and ignored it and got smashed. At the same time the saffers responded to it once and got crucified for being disrespectful. It IS hugely important to the kiwis though for a number of reasons, I don't have an issue with them doing it. And from memory other countries have tried, but they don't have NZs history and so it can't be replicated, it doesn't have the same meaning.

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54 minutes ago, theseeker said:

Couple of things am perplexed about the first is this ever spreading "Welcome to Country" thing which seems to be performed at everything from Grand Finals to the opening of an envelope , to some government websites. Do I need to be welcomed in the country I was born in.

 I understand there needs to be respect for indigenous people in fact for everyone but this is getting over the top and surely the overuse will render it totally meaningless or just plain resentment - get on with the bloody game ! Oh and feel sorry for the poor bastard who forgot the words at the NRL grand final.

The other is the haka performed by NZ's and some Pacific Islanders. Apart from the psychological advantage it gives and holds up the game , the opposition team is required to stand there like numbnuts with a blank look on their face whilst apparently being ritually threaten with having their throat cut , torn to pieces or being emasculated. Ban the farking thing and have a level playing field for all teams.

Either that or let the Aussies stage a corroboree , the Argies a tango , the Italians a tarantella  , the Scots a highland fling for example to even things up.

I know these things might perplex you but really have you focussed on the meaning of it? The Welcome to Country or indeed the Acknowledgment of Country that non-aboriginals do when they hold an event, brings to us the heart of the first people of this land. A reminder that our history, our cultural roots stretch back long before the 200+ years that the colonialists have been here. If you ever get the chance to listen to an elder do a Welcome to Country you will here what the word “country” means to them, their relationship with the land, their welcome of others and their wish to share this deep and important part of their cultural identity with everyone. They often tell stories particular to their locality and share historical understandings of the land. It is a privledge  to hear it and a privledge to be part of a country with such a rich history. 
 

So, yes, I guess in my opinion you have to be welcomed into the country you were born into because it is a reminder that you are part of something bigger than yourself and you walk on lands with rich history and previously understood differently to what you know. 
 

:)

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1 hour ago, theseeker said:

Couple of things am perplexed about the first is this ever spreading "Welcome to Country" thing which seems to be performed at everything from Grand Finals to the opening of an envelope , to some government websites. Do I need to be welcomed in the country I was born in.

 I understand there needs to be respect for indigenous people in fact for everyone but this is getting over the top and surely the overuse will render it totally meaningless or just plain resentment - get on with the bloody game !

You know what? I partially agree with some if this.

In the Dept if Education, it's mandatory to introduce formal proceedings with an Acknowledgement of Country, or a Welcome Back(if it is conducted by a traditional owner). And I totally think that is appropriate, even if it is tokenistic. It's a reminder of what my ancestors helped themselves to, and of what traditional owners were deprived of.

Sometimes, though, in things like online courses, it's  taken too far. By individuals, I think, rather than by any policy.

One online professional development course I did last year, had 3 or 4 different speakers conduct different segments of the course, all speaking from different locations.

And each of them started by acknowledging the traditional owners of the land  of the premises from which they were speaking.

It seemed totally unnecessary to me.

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24 minutes ago, Cynth said:

I know these things might perplex you but really have you focussed on the meaning of it? The Welcome to Country or indeed the Acknowledgment of Country that non-aboriginals do when they hold an event, brings to us the heart of the first people of this land. A reminder that our history, our cultural roots stretch back long before the 200+ years that the colonialists have been here. If you ever get the chance to listen to an elder do a Welcome to Country you will here what the word “country” means to them, their relationship with the land, their welcome of others and their wish to share this deep and important part of their cultural identity with everyone. They often tell stories particular to their locality and share historical understandings of the land. It is a privledge  to hear it and a privledge to be part of a country with such a rich history. 
 

So, yes, I guess in my opinion you have to be welcomed into the country you were born into because it is a reminder that you are part of something bigger than yourself and you walk on lands with rich history and previously understood differently to what you know. 
 

:)

Great post Cynth! :good:

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1 hour ago, Cynth said:

I know these things might perplex you but really have you focussed on the meaning of it? The Welcome to Country or indeed the Acknowledgment of Country that non-aboriginals do when they hold an event, brings to us the heart of the first people of this land. A reminder that our history, our cultural roots stretch back long before the 200+ years that the colonialists have been here. If you ever get the chance to listen to an elder do a Welcome to Country you will here what the word “country” means to them, their relationship with the land, their welcome of others and their wish to share this deep and important part of their cultural identity with everyone. They often tell stories particular to their locality and share historical understandings of the land. It is a privledge  to hear it and a privledge to be part of a country with such a rich history. 
 

So, yes, I guess in my opinion you have to be welcomed into the country you were born into because it is a reminder that you are part of something bigger than yourself and you walk on lands with rich history and previously understood differently to what you know. 
 

:)

Do we have to have it at every event though. Don't need reminding .Heard it once and starting to irritate instead of appreciate.

I believe in one country , one people  and one flag not us and them , that's divisive. Don't know of any other country who has this or for that matter three flags.

Walk into government offices and there is three flags , the Australian flag , the Aboriginal flag and the Torres Islander flag. Again which other country has this. Indigenous people didn't have flags , that was a copied from the British who came here.

Look with the Australian flag I wouldn't care if the aboriginal flag was inserted where the Union Jack is  , even though that's part of our history. But then what about the Torres Islander flag. Can't insert that as well the flag would look like a dropped bowl of fruit salad.

As for the different story telling there are/ were 200 different Aboriginal languages but with dialect difference the number swells to about 500 I believe.

For me one country , one people , one flag.

 

 

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39 minutes ago, theseeker said:

As for the different story telling there are/ were 200 different Aboriginal languages but with dialect difference the number swells to about 500 I believe.

Yes this is the point, every welcome to country can be different. 
 

As for one people, one flag....that would have been nice for them to have thought about prior to taking indigenous babies and putting them with white families. And traumatising a whole race of people. 

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One country one people one flag?

 

There has never been such a thing.

The closest things that have been created are totalitarian regimes.

I find the desire for unity under the state completely at odds with the desire for the state to not do anything for its people, it always confuses me when I come across it.

 

 

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1 minute ago, Cynth said:

Yes this is the point, every welcome to country can be different. 
 

As for one people, one flag....that would have been nice for them to have thought about prior to taking indigenous babies and putting them with white families. And traumatising a whole race of people. 

Well, that was actually the aim of that policy essentially.

One people, one flag.

 

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2 hours ago, Cynth said:


 

So, yes, I guess in my opinion you have to be welcomed into the country you were born into because it is a reminder that you are part of something bigger than yourself and you walk on lands with rich history and previously understood differently to what you know. 
 

:)

Yep, and you were born into this country but not the part of it you might be standing on.

 

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7 minutes ago, marron said:

Well, that was actually the aim of that policy essentially.

One people, one flag.

 

And yet divisive and alienating it was. 

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20 minutes ago, Cynth said:

Yes this is the point, every welcome to country can be different. 
 

As for one people, one flag....that would have been nice for them to have thought about prior to taking indigenous babies and putting them with white families. And traumatising a whole race of people. 

My final point on this , a product of the times , not excusing anything.

Young white women who had babies out of wedlock had their babies taken off them without seeing the child and adopted out , ever considered them ?

 Even today if your baby is at risk or you can't support it DOCS ( or whatever they are called this Saturday) will take it off you.

Reluctant to mention this as well Welcome is a nice little earner , what about $450 a pop.

Edited by theseeker

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3 hours ago, theseeker said:

Couple of things am perplexed about the first is this ever spreading "Welcome to Country" thing which seems to be performed at everything from Grand Finals to the opening of an envelope , to some government websites. Do I need to be welcomed in the country I was born in.

 I understand there needs to be respect for indigenous people in fact for everyone but this is getting over the top and surely the overuse will render it totally meaningless or just plain resentment - get on with the bloody game ! Oh and feel sorry for the poor bastard who forgot the words at the NRL grand final.

The other is the haka performed by NZ's and some Pacific Islanders. Apart from the psychological advantage it gives and holds up the game , the opposition team is required to stand there like numbnuts with a blank look on their face whilst apparently being ritually threaten with having their throat cut , torn to pieces or being emasculated. Ban the farking thing and have a level playing field for all teams.

Either that or let the Aussies stage a corroboree , the Argies a tango , the Italians a tarantella  , the Scots a highland fling for example to even things up.

wow you really are A sky after dark tit

Edited by StringerBellend

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