Who’s Wanderering off? The 2013/14 Transfer Window.

Resident Moderator and occasional left fullback Michael Turner takes a look at the opening of the transfer window for 2014.

It’s that time of year, the time for the most exciting period of any football season. Tis the season to make rumours! Resident spin-doctors and (self-declared) Football Manager experts come together to sing songs of ridicule for some preposterous transfer rumours, as the internet sceptics unite as one to question their credentials when the absurd move takes place.

A common scene in Europe, and the rest of the footballing world, as these rumours dominate headlines, but who’s going where (apparently) for the Wanderers?

Mark Birighitti

Despite rhyming with ‘reallyshitty’, the big Newcastle shot-stopper is far from his rhyme-sake. The 22 year old is technically a westie, hailing from Perth, before moving to the AIS in 2007-08. His year in the nation’s capital of boredom is enough to make anywhere more exciting, so he made a move to Adelaide. This was not much help, and after much time on the pine for the Pissants, Mark made the move to Newcastle, quite near an area known for a really old type of pine. He had really grown an affinity for the Wollemi and other varieties, but his search for the rare coniferous tree had to be cut short, as he found himself on the field.

Finally between the sticks for Newcastle, Birighitti cemented himself as the first choice keeper, edging out Jack Duncan and Jesus’ long lost cousin, Ben Kennedy, who couldn’t fashion a pine bench to save his spot, let alone a shot.

Regardless, Birighitti found his way into the Socceroos outfit, in the East Asian Cup, which nobody cared about, and apparently dropped us even lower in the world rankings. But hey, how could we deny the Hong Kong players and fans the opportunity to see superstars like Taggart, Franjic and Zadkovich. Yes I know they probably didn't play in that competition, but hey I didn't watch it like the rest of us.

Regardless, Mark Birighitti, known as 'Birraz' by his teammates could add some pizazz to our already strong goalkeeping stocks, a deal most likely to be struck over dinner and a bottle of fine Shiraz.

Will Birighitti Wander over?

Probably not. He's a good keeper, but it seems like Covic is being touted to eventually take over from Ron Corry as a goalkeeping coach, on a 37-year contract, with Tyson groomed to take the número uno jersey. Covic has been re-signed for another year, and Birraz is on another two years at the Jets, and will probably fly out for Europe.

Matthew Spiranovic

One of the Wanderers key signings at the start of the season was a bit of a controversial one. Matthew Spiranovic, a CB signed as competition for the strongest CB pairing last season, Topor-Stanley and Captain Beauchamp.

It was widely expected that Topor-Stanley would find himself in the Topor-Standley, to make way for Spiranovic, and the reasons for this was made very clear by the fans.

NTS isn't Croatian, which clearly doesn't fit into the Wanderers apparent Croatian only policy... And let's face it, with the beard that he sported at the start of the season, ‘clearances’ will be hard to find at ACL and interstate away games. Toiletries in a clear plastic bag lads!

Beauchamp was eventually the man to make way, for Spiranovic, much to the condemnation of some fans, as apparently it's unwritten law and a sin to replace a captain.

Regardless, Spiranovic let his football do the talking, while all fans let the butthurt do the talking.

The immense sound generated from this butthurt made it's way to Sydney FC's upper hierarchy, including the Salary Cap raising department. The big bacon Pignata consulted Farina, who was on his 8th beer by then, and agreed that he wasn't happy with his key defensive signings in Matt Jurman and Marc Warren.

And thus the rumour was born, and after a few hits on the pokies and another four rounds with Spider, they allegedly agreed it was time to destroy another career.

Will Spiranovic Wander off?

In all honesty, probably not. Spiranovic is pushing for a seat on the plane for Brazil, and he won't be wanting to do that via Webjet.

To make it, he'll have to be playing good football in a competitive side, and with the Wanderers, he is doing just that.

Youssouf Hersi

Apparently a bit aggrieved at his lack of re-signing, the Ethiopian-Dutch actor has returned from his world tour after starring in Captain Phillips. Not really. Back from injury the explosive winger has rejoined the squad a made a great impact on the Wanderer’s starting XI.

His movie-star credentials however has caught the eye of Pignata and co, rarely ever seen with a cap these days, and are allegedly looking to bring him in. There is really no substance to this rumour, quite like Sydney’s squad to be honest. And besides, Sydney are probably still looking to secure the signing of Tom Hanks, who had a far more instrumental role in the inaugural filming of Captain Phillips.

Newcastle Jets are apparently looking to crash land Sydney’s next cap removal session, as Gary Van Egmond stated his desire to sign the winger. It has been downplayed as simply a pre-game tactic in the media to unsettle the opposition, but I don’t remember that being an option in Football Manager. Must be a game modification, he’s a crafty one Gary van Egmod. Besides, why would you want to shake up a midfield commanded by the mighty Ruben Zadkovich?

RBB on the move?

Yes, I’m going there. Rumor has it that the National Rugby League has made an approach for the Red and Black Bloc to fill the void created by the moronic nature of the sport. NRL CEO David Smith apparently said that he was looking for the RBB to make the sport actually bearable to watch.

It is believed that the NRL approached the RBB simply because Rugby League fans and players are unable to comprehend words larger than 3 letters. The Rugby League’s survival can be thanked by SBW, the RWC capped by AUS v NZL, and the SOO with NSW v QLD and that try at ANZ.

In other RBB transfer news, Brad Pitt’s agent has been making noise about the vocal supporter group joining Fight Club, which we mustn't ever talk about by the way.

After watching Green Street Hooligans, Brad Pitt spoke to good friend Elijah Wood and asked who were the biggest fighters in world football, where Elijah Wood allegedly responded “well the media are always talking about some team down in Australia.â€

Pitt then sent Angelina Jolie on a location scout in the battlegrounds of Blacktown, where she slept at the Wanderers home-ground armed to the teeth. It is believed Pitt’s management pulled out when the location scout came up with nothing, and they realised that nothing actually ever happened, and the Australian media is full of crock **** and make things up to sell papers. Their words, not mine.

They also realised that there was more violence at the Cricket, who's fans have the fantastic skill of stacking 200 beer cups together in a snake, and would prove more useful in the Fight Club’s bistro. The Fanatics Barmy Fight Club begins shooting this March.

Next time on Transfer Watch - The Japanese Connection. Sapporo for Ono?