thank you very much, at the end of the day i was pissed off that my appointment got cancelled twice but obsessive thoughts have always been a curse and a blessing because i know if i try to let my mind relax and stop thinking it wont work and will just focus on depressing topics but if i am focused on a specific interest of mine and obsessing over that then the negative thoughts wont be able to take over
that said if something negative is happening my mind wont be able to escape from that, for example me and an Indian ex girlfriend were starting to feel things for each other a while back(but we are not suited for each other) so my obsessive thoughts were not helpful there
also dont know w if this is related to my OCD or if its something else but sometimes when i was at parramatta stadium(the new one) if i was too high up in the stands i would look up and worry i was going to float off into space.........that most likely wasnt going to happen so i can see when obsessive thoughts are making zero sense plus once i wasnt so high up its not something i thought of at all so at least i can recognise when i am being nuts what is the medication you are on?
glad you are doing better after your surgery
on another topic i been watching things on K pop and J pop(not genres i have much interest in from a music point of view) its depressing how many j pop and k pop stars end up taking their own lives, both industries are very toxic from what i have heard. and watched